lolz drugs!
by M.S DARK ANGEL
Summary: what the hell is Light Matt planning? If it involves me I m outta here' Misa said airily. 'Light' 'Yeah Matt' 'Pass me the speed.' 'Kay.'
1. Drugged up!

warning: extreme humour, random-ness, AU, drugs (duh!!) over-use of the word lolz, o.o.c-ness.

disclaimer: if i owned death note, wtf would i be doing on here then!?

pairings: not decided.

Chapter 1

Drugged up!!

'Light…' a raven detective calls. A brunette teen was sat opposite him.

'Yes, Ryuuzaki?' he replied casually.

'**It`s done Light…**' a sly voice hissed.

'…#I`M BRINGIN SEXY BACK!! YEAH!! #' Ryuuzaki randomly shouted out. Light stared at him and smirked, tossing Ryuk an apple.

'#GET YOUR FREAK ON!!! #' The world famous detective yelled: causing half of the police force to stare. Ryuuzaki jumped up and began to do the infamous big booty dance. And knocked his empty teacup over. _~Bit too much steroids, lolz! ~_ Light mused as he pulls out his phone and began to video record him. _~The drug worked according to plan! Take that Ryuuzaki! Or should I say…L! ~_ He chuckled as Ryuuzaki suddenly stops and fell to the floor, snoring loudly. Everybody sweat-dropped. Light smirked, and put his phone away. Mello saw him and shook his head: he turned to see Matt had just pulled his phone out with a sly grin when he heard an odd jingle.

'What are you doing?' the blonde asked him. Matt flipped his phone up.

'Watching a video Light sent me.' The red-head said. _~What the deuce! I can`t believe he randomly started dancing! It`s a good thing I`m friends with Light!! So fricking funny!! I can`t stop laughing! Lolz! ~_ Matt giggles as he watched the video of L dancing over, and over. Light scooped the raven up, and put him on the sofa. As the police got back to what they were doing before Ryuuzaki`s "little" outburst. Mello sighs, annoyed. Matt grins at Light.

'Man, that was strange.' Light said as he sat down next to Matt, Mello and Near. Matt nodded in reply as the other 2 glared at him. Near and Mello got up to see if Ryuuzaki was ok. Ryuk laughs, only Light heard it.

'Was that funny or what?' Matt snickers as Light grinned in reply.

'Why did L suddenly act like that? he _never_ usually acts like that.' Near stated. _~I don`t get it! ~_ He mused.

'I don`t have a clue…' Mello replied.

'**Hey, Light. It`s was funny, what you made L do, drugs in his tea! Although I had to get it, I saw you put it in. great idea! Never had you down for a prankster!! Light Yagami a.k.a Kira: the prankster slash serial killer!! I`m gonna shut up now.'** Ryuk said, as Light nodded. It`s a shame that the entire police force had no idea that Kira, the mass murderer, was in the same building as them. And to make matters worse, Kira is Light, who is the chief of police`s son! It`s only L that suspects he is Kira…and clueless to his accuracy.

'What do you reckon Ryuuzaki was on just then? Matt asked the brunette.

'I dunno, erm, speed? Meth? Weed? Pot? Cocaine? Steroids?' Light suggests, counting off drugs with his slender fingers. Matt was in hysterics by the time he`s stopped. The reason? Light was laughing too.

Matt noticed light`s nails_. ~ Black nail varnish! ~_ He grinned cheekily.

'I didn`t know you wore nail varnish!' he said after they calmed down a bit.

'How did you…*looks at hand* ah, what are you gonna do about it eh?' Light hissed playfully, Matt laughs.

'Yeah, thought so! Hm…might try pink tomorrow!' the Kira suspect continues, as he looked as his nails.

'What? Like I`d ever wear pink!' he laughs, making Near stare at them.

'Pull yer maddest cowy face!' Matt giggles when he pulls out his camera. 'Okay!' was Light`s reply, they looked so stupid: Matt had scrunched his face too much: it looked like he was severely constipated. Light had gone cross-eyed, flared his nostrils, and stuck his front teeth out. Matt took a picture so that they could see it.

'You look like you need a shit!' Light commented as he laughed at his.

'The fuck! Look at state of you! The mental institute is down road mate.' Matt said before they burst out in hysterical laughter, he dropped it.

Mastuda picked up the camera.

'Holy crap! What the hell is this shit?' he yelped in horror. Light swiftly got up and yanked the camera from the shocked officer.

'Erm, random-ness? Lolz!' he replies.

'Yeah, random acts of teenager-ness. Lolz!' matt adds to the conversation.

Mastuda turns away and walks off.

'Let`s say "lolz" after everything!' Matt suddenly asks. Light agrees.

'That`s good idea. Lolz.' Matt says. 'No! You have to put an exclamation mark in too! Lolz!' Light scolded him.

'Oh…lolz!' the red-haired teen smiles.

'Yeah, like that! Lolz!' the brunette teen chuckled. After a few seconds, they were giggling like a pair of hyper schoolgirls. Or school_boys_.

'What did they put in our coke?!' Matt choked out, Light shrugged.

'I dunno, ecstasy?' he suggested.

'Pfft!! Hahahahaha!! Nice 1 Light!!' Matt cried out, Mello and Near had been watching them for some time now. The 2 teens were getting really irritating with their constant snide remarks and laughing. Then the hyper duo ran to the computers.

'Uh, what happened?' L groggily asks.

'Are you better now?' he asked when he let go of the insomniac detective.

'What happened?' Ryuuzaki asked them. He gasps in horror as they told him everything he had done.

'That`s not the worst.' Near says.

'Near, what`s the worst?' L asks him.

'Light + Matt taped everything.'


	2. The humiliation!

Chapter 2 The humiliation!  
(Short chapter!!)

Ryuuzaki? Yes, mastuda? Um, I don`t know how to tell you. Tell me what? Well it`s um What`s happened? Mastuda? Tell me. Don`t hit me I will if you don`t tell me what it is! Uh, well You going to tell me? Mastuda, tell me. Er *THWACK!!! *  
Ow! Tell me! Or I`ll hit you again! That video of you dancing What about it? It`s on youtube! Er Ryuuzaki? You look kinda pale NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! The humiliation!! 


	3. YouTube mysterious calls!

Bold: shinigami talking. ~Italic thoughts~ Underlined: English or other languages.  
For BlueRose-Phantom for the review and ideas!  
Writer`s block, sorry! T-T AND NO!!!! I DON`T OWN DEATH NOTE!!!!!!!!

Chapter 3 YouTube + mysterious calls!!

Light laughed as he watched Ryuuzaki do the big booty dance for the 14th time. It already had 1,000 hits in the short space of 6 hours. Stressing L a lot.  
It was put under the name of hyper boy`s big booty dance!! (Matt had made up the name.) And he was sure Ryuuzaki was trying to remove from the Internet. And is failing to do so.  
GAHHH!!! Curse you, youtube!! L snarled at said website on the laptop screen. Light had been watching him for the past 15 minutes and was giving useless hints that only send him to a completely different site. He growled.  
It`s frozen again! an angry L shouts, and starts glaring at the screen.  
Uh, huh. Lolz! What are you trying to do? Attack the laptop? Lolz! light snickers, saying lolz annoys L a lot!  
STOP SAYING THAT WORD LIGHT!!!! L hollers, Light snickered. Ryuk belched.  
Why? Why should I? Lolz! he asks.  
Because it is annoying me. L replies.  
Is it? I had never noticed. Light said cheekily as he got up and began to walk into the other room. The smirk widened.  
Lolz! he said when he left the room.  
Arrgh!! There is a 98% chance he`s Kira L told himself. ~He`s a prick! ~ Ryuk began to burp the alphabet.  
In the other room Ha! L is getting mad at youtube, and is trying to verbally attack the computer for the past 2 minutes. Light snickers. Mastuda walked in, misa following him.  
What`s so funny Light? Mello asks.  
Go see what L is doing. Light told him, Mello nodded and left the room, and then the blonde came back laughing his arse off. Mastuda followed suit.  
Ha! He`s having a bitch-fit!! Mello managed to get out, Mastuda fell over laughing, and drops his phone. Light, Matt, Mello and Mastuda were out of breath by laughing too much.  
Somebody record him! Mello yells.  
Already ahead of ya! Mastuda cries, now holding his phone like a trophy.  
I need loo! Light said as he got up and walked to the toilet. Ryuk followed suit.  
In a locked cubicle/toilet Here you go Light. he said, handing light the death note. He smiled evilly.  
Thank-you Ryuk. He replied as he pulled out a pen and began to write.  
He came back 10 minutes later, still smiling. 30 minutes later, sudden deaths hit America. They look at the t.v and stared in surprise, mastuda gaped.  
Sudden death hits America, where numerous heart-attacks struck convicts on death row. We think this may be the work of Kira. The news reporter lady said with a grim look.  
Whoa way to kill the mood Mello sighed, shaking blonde hair from his blue eyes, Near nodded in agreement.  
Heart attack? This is the work of Kira, is it not? he asks the other teens (minus Mastuda and the task force) around him. Matt silently picked his nose, and flicked a bogie at Near.  
Yeah, it probably is, Kira usually kills with heart-attacks. Light stated.  
The other room L delicately picked up his phone and dials a number that will change every person in this building`s lives. He smiled darkly.  
Hello, fancy coming to Japan? L asks.  
Japan? Ya serious? the voice replied.  
Like a heart-attack speaking of heart-attacks, Kira`s over here, and I need a hand in capturing him. Pch, can`t you get your successors to do it, cause if they see me, they`ll recognise me instantly, besides, it`s gonna take a while to get there. Please, for me? For your best brother in the world? L nagged the other voice.  
You are the only brother I`ve got, you twat! the voice hissed annoyed.  
I`ve got at least 6,000 worth of strawberry jam in it for you. 6,000 quid?! Fuckin hell! Where in Japan are you? Tell me! Otherwise I might end up getting lost somewhere. Osaka, and give yourself- -An alias, jeez Law, I`m not stupid, I may be childish, but not stupid. You forgot sadistic, mischievous, bloodthirsty, and crude. Hey! Those are my good points, don`t diss! Hopefully they won`t be any problems in on your arrival. If Misora is there, I am going to make her bleed to death like 1 of my victims. Kira killed Misora, and I`ll just pretend I didn`t hear that Oh, I forgot that you hate things like that, ma bad. Oh! Before I forget, I need to give back to you that Icha-Icha book you lent me. Well remembered, and please refrain from dressing up in random cosplay outfits Shit! I had just bought them especially as well, what a bloody waste, I feel like a right plonker now. Hmm, that would cause immense chaos, because the outfits would be very inappropriate. Are you suggesting I SHOULD cosplay? In case I heard wrong. Yes, do it, and if you are going to cosplay girls as well, you best to find decent wigs. And don`t forget make-up. Aye, aye captain! You have perfect timing I swear! My burns have nearly cleared up, isn`t that fan-fuckin-tastic! Language! English. Hn. Don`t you dare be late, or else I will whack you 1, you got that! L scolded, at that moment, the task force walked in, including Light, Misa, Near, Matt and Mello. L hadn`t noticed them arrive.  
Okay! Okay! You make it out like I`m Kakashi or something! Jeez! Kakashi? From that anime we used to watch as kids Rodger would get mad Oh, I remember we used to cosplay the twiins Mion and Shion, from Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. L babbled on.  
Yeah, you have a beautiful set of legs to go with that school-skirt! Shut up, my legs aren`t beautiful! Oh, pur-lease! I can`t wait to see you again! The suspense is MURDER!!! There are times when I wonder if you are the devil`s spawn, sent to earth Bitch Haha! Lolz! Lolz? Oh noes!! They made me say it too!! Lolz? And so what if they did? It`s really annoying! So is the crazy frog! The crazy frog has nothing to do with this! You hear me? I bet England heard you. Hmm. Hmm? what are you planning? L, tell your evil twiin. You`re gonna wreak havoc aren`t you? Yep. Are you fluent in japanese? Almost as good as you are should I be good, bad, or border lining crazy? Be good, a little mischievous, not insane. Basically like you then? Yep, like me M`kay, bye nii-san! Bye outotou. And then L ended the call.  
What? Outotou ? You have a little brother?! Light suddenly asked in shock.  
Yes, his name is B. he`s my identical twiin. L told the entire task force, before adding:  
I must warn you though, he tends to be irritable at times. 


End file.
